Your brain is trying to sabotage you.

Those happy thoughts? Enjoy them while you can, because they’re not going to hang around for very long.

Before you know it, they’ll be replaced with the memory of that jerk who cut you off on the road yesterday, or the back-handed comment your mother-in-law sent your way over dinner three nights ago.

Now that your rose-tinted lenses have faded to a muddy, dirty brown, you’re agitated, anxious and on edge again.

You swore that you were going to be more positive moving forward, but making progress in that department is proving to be a negative experience.

So what’s going on?

Well, you can blame it on your brain.

The author of Build The Life You Want: The Art And Science Of Getting Happier, and Harvard professor Arthur Brooks describes it succinctly: “Humans have a tendency towards negativity bias. This is because of our evolution.

We reward resentment, negativity, fear, sadness, anger, and disgust because that keeps us alive. Positive emotions are nice to have; negative emotions are critical for keeping us alive.”

One way to counter this built-in negativity bias, he says, is to align our outlook and expectations with what’s really going on in our lives by staying grounded … and grateful.

In fact, Brooks says that we can increase our level of happiness by 10 to 25 percent over 10 weeks just by paying attention to and writing down what we’re grateful for.

Which makes sense.

Think about it: The more attention you give to what’s going well in your life, the less headspace you’ll have for what’s not, and vice versa.

If you look at it that way, gratitude is absolutely the antidote for rumination, helping us break free from the useless (and often destructive) — at least in modern life, it is — cycle of replaying the negatives in our lives, over and over again.

But it’s easier said than done, especially when your brain’s not rooting for your happiness.

Which is why adding this next step into my day has grown increasingly important to me: Deliberately bringing my focus back to what’s really at stake if I don’t let go of all the crap that’s been messing with my mind, and that’s my peace of mind and living an authentic life.

When I notice my mind starting to get unruly, that’s my cue to get to work regaining control by getting grounded, shifting my focus to what I’m grateful for, and zeroing in on the important stuff.

✨ Your ‘Letting Go” Era Is Calling…

If you’ve read my recent posts here and here, you’d be able to guess that I’m right smack in the middle of my ‘Letting Go’ Era (or at least I’m trying to be), and for two good reasons: Life is short and I ain’t getting any younger.

The realization of either one is terrifying enough.

Being constantly reminded of both is enough to serve as a massive kick in the you-know-what to do something about all that’s weighing you down.

At least half of my life (if I’m lucky) is officially over, and I’ve become painfully aware that each and every day spent on unnecessary drama is one that’s effectively flushed down the toilet.

And once the stink of what it was versus what could’ve been rises up, feelings of misery and regret settle in — not an ideal mental space to be in when you’re trying to live your calmest, happiest life.

I want to spend the rest of my days on the right stuff. The good stuff. The stuff that brings more meaning into my life and makes me feel glad to be alive.

But as you can already tell, letting go of all of that no longer serves you isn’t a one-and-done deal.

It takes an incredible amount of self-awareness, mental strength, empathy and foresight to pull off, and even when you think you’ve gotten the hang of it, it never really gets easier.

The more focused you are on the big picture stuff, the better you’ll get at loosening your grip on the small, petty nonsense.

That’s the path I intend to stay firmly rooted on, and I hope you will too.

If you’d like to join me in taking a deeper dive into the practice of letting go, I’ve written a more in-depth post about it here.

See you there?

With love,
Michele

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